You don’t have to be stupid to fall for a scam

That may be so, Kate, in many cases where there is a pre-existing emotional distraction, but there is no doubt that many entirely rational, fully-adjusted and emotionally composed people can be taken advantage of without any emotional causation.

It is the art and skill of the scammer to create the conditions for an uncharacteristic emotional response [urgency pressure, false jeopardy, imminent peril, credible lies] that makes scams so despicable. I am not sure it is possible to prevent emotions from clouding judgment or to become unaffected by emotions without destroying other valuable personal attributes

One way of defeating telephone scammers is to learn to use time as a means of delaying the reflex emotional response. Bear in mind that nothing is so urgent that it cannot wait; if you had not been at home and taken the call what would have happened? For anything genuine or vital the caller would try again.

The scammer has rehearsed the call, is ready for your response, has practiced it many times. For the target, the call is a surprise – you are unprepared, you cannot see the caller, you are tricked into a reaction because you have not had time to organise your thoughts, and the concern over an unwelcome event panics you into giving the other party control over your actions or your computer.

We are also educated and conditioned to being polite, respectful and engaging; we should not abandon those virtues because there are sometimes criminals on the line. We need to count to ten – out loud if it helps – when the call occurs. The pre-recorded message will have no personal greeting, no identification reference, no pauses; it is designed to propel you into pressing ONE. Don’t go there, not even for the ‘pleasure of stringing them along’ [which many people satisfy their ego’s with] or to ‘prevent them targeting someone else’ [oh, really?]; it is just a waste of your time and can confirm that your phone line is active and answered.

For people who do have real emotional vulnerability it is essential not to be receptive to random phone calls and not to let the phone become such a dominant element in their activities. Let it ring – the call history will let you catch up if necessary. Don’t call back to unknown numbers. What you are doing is more important than what someone you don’t know and can’t see wants you to do, so cut the call off, get back to what you were doing, and don’t worry about it.

Well put John. I treat all unknown callers as a possible scammer unless they quickly prove otherwise. If I’m having a bad day, I am more likely to give them a mouthful than fall for their sweet talk.

My mum always used to press a button to return missed calls because “It might be important”.

Not only did BT charge for that little convenience, she had no idea whether the call would incur further charges as it could be a premium rate number or even to abroad. I recently had a recorded message that gave a phone number in Germany to dial if I wanted the calls to stop.

I hope I have got her to understand that if the call was important, they WILL call back.

Yes, or leave a message, or call a mobile.

We make many decisions that are emotive, some that we come to regret. But without emotion we would be a very sad race.

I think we just must accept that sometimes we will make poor decisions, some people will get the better of us and that we must put some effort into learning, whether from other people or simply from experience.

We seem to see the internet and the phone as the purveyors of fraud. No doubt they have increased it substantially but it has always been with us. I remember when I was young my Dad wanting a car port constructed at the side of the house. He responded to an advert in the local evening paper, put down a deposit and…….. never heard from them again. I think what upset him most was that he had fallen for a scam – he, like the rest of us, thought he knew better – rather than losing the money.

I suppose there is a psychological condition of ‘missed call anxiety’ – a fear of missing a call that “might be important”. The chances are that it won’t be. Modern phones that let you store names and numbers have taken the mystery out of the telephone’s ring – you can recognise the numbers that matter, and for any others you can delay your response and just say “Yes?” [no name, no number] and ask what they want. If a recording starts to play, just terminate. You can even programme distinctive ring tones for people you do need to answer.

Remember there is always a criminal purpose behind a scam call – they are not wanting to protect your internet connection or stop you getting nuisance calls. They want something you must not let them have: personal details, or access to your computer. They don’t care about you and your feelings, they don’t care if they wipe you out financially, they don’t care what happens to you next. They are psychopathically ruthless.

Unlike with a traditional thief, there will be no forensic evidence of their visit to your home, their invasion of your privacy, their theft of your money. There’s no get-away car to trace; you won’t see them or have a description, and the police will not spend any time looking for them because it is a hopeless exercise.

So with all that in mind people don’t have to feel bad about not answering the phone, or cutting the call off. Once in ten thousand calls it might be a mistake, that’s all – nothing to worry about.