Think weddings are expensive? Try being a guest!

I often attend weddings as part of my son’s music business and the average wedding day breaks down as follows:

1 hour Wedding Ceremony,

1 hour with the Photographer taking romantic pictures of the happy couple – usually during the Reception leaving the guests to talk amongst themselves,

2 hours Wedding Breakfast – another period of lockdown with miscellaneous family and guests, whilst the wedding couple are flanked by Mum / Dad / Best Man / Chief Bridesmaid at the top table.

2 hours of other formalities, including group photos, speeches, first dance, cutting the cake, throwing the bouquet, etc.

That leaves no more than 6 hours of contact time to mingle with the guests, at least some of which will be spent shouting over the disco. And if the couple have not delegated all their arrangements well, a good proportion of that time gets eaten up organising the event itself.

Assuming 120 guests attend, that’s a maximum of 3 minutes contact time per person. If it’s a case of seeing and being seen, or you fancy a holiday in the selected location, then go, but don’t turn up expecting to have a long conversation with your best friend on his/her wedding day.

If you are holding your wedding abroad, do your guests a favour and try to hold a pre-wedding day event, where friends and family can meet up on an informal basis, spending a day at the beach or have an organised tour of the city, following by an early evening meal in a local restaurant. Even consider putting some of that £10,000 saved on your UK wedding towards this as an incentive to come early. Everyone will be more relaxed on the wedding day and there will be less pressure on you to meet and greet everyone you haven’t seen for years.

I agree that weekday weddings seem selfish but many couples opt for this for cost reasons or to get their chosen venue in a shorter time. Some very popular wedding venues are booked out on Saturdays and Sundays for a couple of years, at least.

If I was very close to the bride or groom, I would try my best to attend their wedding. However, if they decided to get married in Bali or Tuvalu, then I would not go and would be surprised if they expected me to attend. Provided the grand/parents, siblings of the bride and groom and the witnesses are able to attend then I think the rest can make up their minds about spending loadsamoney on the event.

My niece was married in Jersey, with just parents, siblings, Aunt & Uncle, and witnesses in attendance. A few weeks later they had a buffet reception in a hotel near their home, and all friends and family attended. We had a terrific night, everybody relaxed and nobody was worried about rings, dress, cars, photos etc, – a much more enjoyable event than many big weddings I have attended.