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Step into The Rhyming Room

Poetry on typewriter

Would you prefer to write your comments as a poem? Then The Rhyming Room is exactly where you want to be. Take inspiration from our weekly themes or wax lyrical on current consumer concerns…

The Which? Conversation community is fortunate to have many budding poets in its midst who frequently put their thoughts into verse.

On the odd occasion, we’ve even had dedicated conversations encouraging you to show off your creative talents and command of couplets and stanzas, such as those community member Ian led on National Poetry Day last year and at Christmas.

Poets’ corner

Concerned that some of the odes may get buried and forgotten in the depths of Which? Conversation, a number of you have requested a permanent poetry convo.

The space you envisaged was somewhere to store your topical verses so you could easily access them for further enjoyment – and even contribute more when you’re feeling inspired.

So, without further ado: welcome to The Rhyming Room.

On song

Of course, the main idea here is to write poems about your thoughts on current consumer issues.

But for added inspiration, each week, we’ll also be suggesting themes. These could be based on a mixture of world, international and national days, and even dubious celebratory days – so be sure to check back regularly.

Naturally, if you come up with your own celebratory occasion and want to write a poem, that’s OK, too.

Your musings can also be serious or amusing.

The only rules are that the poems must be your own work and it would be helpful to others to mention the subject. You should also always keep our Community Guidelines in mind.

To kick things off, Alfa’s kindly put pen to paper.

Did you ever dream of being a poet
But never quite sure just how to show it?
Let thoughts in your head turn to words that flow
And watch a poem start to grow

Each week there will be a new set of themes
Inspiration may come to you in your dreams
The end of lines don’t have to rhyme
Just come back and share with us in due time

This week’s themes:

Any current issues on Which? Conversation, plus:

Notable upcoming dates:

Fri 26 May: Don’t Fry Day, Dracula Day, Paper Airplane Day, Heat Awareness Day
Sat 27 May: Cellophane Tape Day, Sun Screen Day,
Sun 28 May: Brisket Day, Amnesty International Day, Hamburger Day, World Hunger Day
Mon 29 May: Biscuit Day, Paper Clip Day, Learn About Composting Day, Coq Au Vin Day
Tue 30 May: Water a Flower Day, Loomis Day, My Bucket’s Got A Hole Day
Wed 31 May: No Tobacco Day, Macaroon Day, Senior Health & Fitness Day, Speak in Sentences Day
Thu 1 Jun: Say Something Nice Day, Go Barefoot Day, Olive Day, Heimlich Manoeuvre Day, Penpal Day
Fri 2 Jun: Doughnut Day, Rocky Road Day, Leave The Office Early Day,
Sat 3 Jun: Repeat Day, Insect Repellent Awareness Day, Egg Day
Sun 4 Jun: Hug Your Cat Day, Tailors Day, Old Maid’s Day, Cancer Survivors Day, Cheese Day, Cognac Day

Please check back regularly for themes of the week.

We look forward to reading your compositions!

With special thanks to Which? Conversation community member, Alfa, who assisted with this conversation and came up with the inspired name of The Rhyming Room.


Alfred Hitchcock Day

The crows sat on the telegraph line
Sending shivers down my spine
More wings filled the street
Did they send out a tweet
How else could they send out a sign

They circled around me and to my dismay
My jacket got a spray
Then right out of the blue
In a flock they flew
Across Bodega Bay

Today’s check your battery day,
It’s good to plant flowers in a way,
While I’m not sure that Hitch
Deserves his own pitch
It does take a mix to make Hay.

There seems to be a mix of meaning
As to where this conversation’s leaning.
I understand that writing prose
Is scribing thoughts, with pen, to those
Who read the script in essay style
And just, in fact, as we all the while
Comment elsewhere on this site
On issues serious and trite.
Poetry is not like prose,
Its form, like wearing shapely hose,
Fits the body of verses taut,
With carefully crafted lines of thought.
We may not say in lengthy text
What we might choose when we are vexed.
So, explain to us, now we are here,
What we write -just make it clear,
Verse or prose or literary musing?
What’s the setting we should be choosing?

It’s scarcely prose and no-way verse
It’s doggerel at best; and worse
It seldom can precisely scan
This format should incur a ban?

I write doggerel by the yard,
As you say, it isn’t hard.
But within this, as you can see
A question posed is meant to be.
I don’t rate this much as verse
Simply asking how we converse.

While we try to be spot on each time
We sometimes let slip a small crime
But as long as we’re told
(And please try not to scold)
We’ll fix it and tell you – in rhyme

That’s a good ‘un. So few get Limericks right.

When his own took a turn for the worse
Patrick asked me to write him a verse –
He thought it was best
That he post in behest
I’m glad that it’s not too perverse

A limerick’s tricky to write,
It’s getting the metre just right
That proves rather hard,
But playing your card
Right, produces a wonderful sight.

The rhyming’s important, of course,
(You can’t really send it in Morse),
But choosing the rhyme
With great care does take time,
But it always pays off when the last line is perfect.

World Consumer Rights Day? I think I had an the Indian continent in mind when I wrote this.

Home Truths.

Eyes through the glassless cavity,
Brown and so wide.
Bars cross their sight.
I see and pity.
There within this depravity
Children side by side,
Through this square of white,
Deep in the city.

A table stacked with junk:
Toxic and jagged.
Hard tall, stained stools,
I see cushion less frames.
Beyond these a bunk,
Mattress ragged.
A soldering iron cools,
Parted from gaseous flames.

Eyes speak of silent despair.
Still heads stare,
Asking nothing but their sight,
Numbed with expectation.
Then a brutal bearded bear
Crashes from his lair.
Children scurry back in fright
From work’s cessation.

A board clatters cross the bars,
Blocking inquisition.
An oath is sent in warning
With the flash of knife.
Now the roar of cars
To urge my mission.
I go to seek the dawning
Of their hope and life.

The Commissioner’s smile is wry.
“Save just one?
Try millions my friend.
And, while we’re talking,
They make; you buy;
Your English bargains won
From things our children ‘mend’.
Please, on your way be walking.”

V.H. August 2010.

To Melanie

Apologies for being terse
But in this place we write in verse
And so the Convo’s opening line
Is incorrect, and shows
There’s no place here for points in prose!
(To make an author’s edit’s fine).

In Defence Of Doggerel.

As with any written forms,
There are the highs and lows and norms.
For some the limerick is fine,
The hackneyed birthday greeting rhyme,
The overworking twist of words
To mix the whey within the curds,
The chaff and corn together glue
To write another clerihew.

For others, now, such forms crunch gears
And bring true poets close to tears.
Their choice of verse is at its peak
When Keats and Donne and Auden speak,
Their beckoning muses so refined
Stir classic poems in the mind
To enrich the future of mankind.

So, doggerel is down below
The lowest point that it can go.
And those who pen it may be said
To have no culture in them bred.
However, as with any art
There is a purpose to impart.
For me, this lowly form of verse
Conveys a massage, long or terse.

It’s simply one of many ways
To employ a turn of phrase
Tell the people what you think,
Question, probe and make a link.
There are many other ways to choose
But this is one I like to use.

So there!!


Great start to The Rhyming Room.

For anyone needing inspiration, these are the notable dates for the next week:

Sat Mar 18: Companies That Care Day, Awkward Moments Day, Biodiesel Day, Quilting Day
Sun Mar 19: Poultry Day, Chocolate Caramel Day, Let’s Laugh Day
Mon Mar 20: First Day of Spring, World Sparrow Day, World Oral Health Day, International Day of Happiness, Alien Abductions Day
Tue Mar 21: World Poetry Day (anything goes), World Down Syndrome Day, World Puppetry day, International Day of Forests
Wed Mar 22: World Water Day
Thu Mar 23: World Meteorological Day, Near Miss Day, Puppy Day
Fri Mar 24: World TB Day, Chocolate Covered Raisins Day, Red Nose Day
Sat Mar 25: Earth Hour, Pecan Day, Waffle Day
Sun Mar 26: Mothering Sunday, Spinach Day, Make Up Your Own Holiday Day

So now the letter is written,
The brexit bullet is bitten.
The bonds that now bind
Are left far behind.
Hooray for the world of tomorrow.

Folk will gather round tables,
With many conjectures and fables.
Claims, counter claims
Who shoulders the blames?
Hooray for the world of tomorrow.

A picture in faint definition,
Will gradually form to position
The parties who talk
And who talk and who talk.
Hooray for the World of tomorrow.

Bargains then hammered and smote
Are rejected by parliament’s vote.
It’s back to the floor,
To bargain some more.
Hooray for the world of tomorrow.

At last when so weary and worn
The new age can finally dawn.
This glorious, euphoric new life,
No Euro, no Brussels, no strife.

No change to our borders and ports,
No change to our laws and our courts.
No change to the workers
The strivers and shirkers,
Hooray for the world of tomorrow.

No change to the folk coming here,
No change to the price of our beer.
No change to much that we know,
We leave but we never let go.
Hooray for the world of tomorrow.


It’s raining here, the skies are grey – it never seems to stop.
But in the PVS debate the temp’rature is hot.
The voice of reason rarely heard, the bigot shouts so loud,
And even John, replete with charm, can barely break the crowd.
The comments flow like lava, bottled up for far too long,
And yet the strident fog-horn voices sing the same old song.
‘We’re leaving, hip hooray! Let no one dare to disagree,
“The EU’s comitatus aspirations we can see,
“We’ll not be swayed by logic, good intentions or the facts!
“Let’s just get out and do it fast!” Their mantra often lacks.
For sadly no one knows just what will happen overall,
Except that those who think things will be better are in thrall
To misanthrope idealogues who think they all know best,
Until the final exit comes – that’s sure to be a test.
So buckle up, me hearties, and let’s set our sails to full
And try to stay afloat because we could become ahull.
And solace take from poets great, esp’cially Scotland’s Robbie.
If all else fails, just drop the sails – we’ve always got the Lobby.

I enjoyed reading that Ian. Very apt.

Thanks, Vynor. I assumed it would simply be buried beneath the avalanche of posters in the topic itself.

When things in Which? Conversation have calmed down a bit I sometimes go back and snap up any unconsidered trifles with a superfluous comment but it doesn’t always work and some contributors’ best efforts forlornly wither on the vine.

To be lost in the crowd
Doesn’t make us cowed.
If we are allowed
furrows can be ploughed
And, quietly proud,
Published here aloud.

Notable Upcoming Dates:

Sat Apr 1: April Fool’s Day, Atheist Day, Pillow Fight Day, DIY Day, Fun Day
Sun Apr 2: Ferret Day, World Autism Day
Mon Apr 3: Chocolate Mousse Day, Find A Rainbow Day
Tue Apr 4: Tell a Lie Day, World Rat Day
Wed Apr 5: Read a Road Map Day, Star Trek First Contact Day
Thu Apr 6: Tartan Day, Caramel Popcorn Day
Fri Apr 7: National Beer Day, No Housework Day, Walk To Work Day, Beaver Day, World Health Day
Sat Apr 8: Zoo Lovers Day, Draw a Picture of a Bird Day
Sun Apr 9: Winston Churchill Day, Cherish an Antique Day

Updated the post 🙂

No days for bats
Just ferrets and rats,
And no date for cats.
No entry for pooches
Or humble c**k-rooches?
No day for the salamander
Or the red panda?
No beaver or golden retriever?
Who selects the breed,
Who dares do this deed?
Animal equality is the cry.
A day for all do not deny.

Time to tip toe out of here for a while Alfa.

Notable upcoming dates:

Mon Apr 10: Siblings Day, Golfer’s Day, International Safety Pin Day, Farm Animals Day
Tue Apr 11: Pet Day, World Parkinson’s Disease Day, Submarine Day
Wed Apr 12: Grilled Cheese Day, Big Wind Day
Thu Apr 13: Scrabble Day, Peach Cobbler Day, Thomas Jefferson Day
Fri Apr 14: That Sucks! Day, Dolphin Day, Look Up At The Sky Day
Sat Apr 15: Take A Wild Guess Day, Titanic Remembrance Day, Rubber Eraser Day
Sun Apr 16: Save The Elephant Day, Orchid Day, Bean Counter Day
Mon Apr 17: Haiku Poetry Day, Bat Appreciation Day, Blah Blah Blah Day

Haiku poems originated in Japan in the 9th century often of nature or the seasons. They don’t rhyme and consist of 3 lines. The first and last lines of a Haiku have 5 syllables and the middle line 7 syllables.

And one or two for Vynor.
🦇 🐄 🐑 🐏 🐖 🐶 🐱 🐭 🐹 🐰 🐬 🐘

All done, Alfa 🙂

I’m a particular fan of Save the Elephant Day, so will have a think.

It’s also National Gardening Week

I might dig out my well used Scrabble set soon, though it won’t be on Thursday because there is a committee meeting that evening. 🙁

Animal images.
Welcome care, equality,
Days for all beasts.

Would Winnie The Pooh
Wish for a higher haiku
Or just be content?