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Can you say it with a poem?

National Poetry Day 2016

National Poetry Day, an annual celebration of all things poetical, takes place on 6 October 2016. An initiative of the Forward Arts Foundation, a charity that celebrates excellence in poetry, we thought a poetic Convo long overdue. So guest poet Ian is here to kick things off…

This header is in rhyme, and a different style for each verse. We also include several current topics in Conversations, so take a peek and write your own verse; we’d love to see as many poetic contributions as possible.

As Father time winds on (in rhyme), I think it’s safe to say
It’s now October 6th, so welcome: Natin’al Poetry Day!
As Autumn comes and thoughts of tums filled up, with luscious treats
Beguile us all, yet scams a pall do cast, with things less sweet.

Oft times it feels as though we’re lost,
With mounting bills and endless costs,
But through it all the shining light
That’s Which? – assails the darkning night,
And lends a helping hand or two,
That really helps us all get through
Tumult’ous times, yet overall
The spirit that pervades the thrall
Of shopping, buying, fixing things,
Just starts to brighten. Slings
And arrows, Hamlet thought,
But thinking often comes to nought.

So in order to mark such a day
We’re hoping your posts might just say,
“What a wonderful season,
“It’s always so pleasin’
“To write, rhyme and read” – have your say!

Now’s the time to think in Rhyme
Especially in feet.
The Rhythm in each separate line’s
Quite crucial, don’t be meek!

Whatever takes your fancy, be it Christmas, treats or scams.
Don’t be afraid it might not work, for once don’t silence all the lambs.
Everybody’s voice on this is vital, so let fly
On Christmas, through the Payments Systems Regulator (by and by).

Over to you…


Congratulations Ian on your timely convo, 🙂
I will give it a toast with an amontillado,
Let’s hope this becomes an annual event,
Twill make a change from the usual dissent.

Verse can amuse,
Or make you snooze,
Whatever the weather,
Let’s have fun together.


The world is full of rotten scams
Ready to pounce on simple lambs
To the slaughter
And in deep water
They turn to Which?
To get them out of a hitch
With plenty of helpful words of wisdom
They might avoid becoming a victim.


There was a young man called Patrick
Who probably ain’t getting homesick
He’s flown lots of miles
To bring others his smiles
But he’ll be soon be back to Gatwick


There was a community called Convo
Where Patrick was sometimes a no show
It fills me with glee
When I get to see
Its members throw rhymes with such gusto


Wow alfa, I’m enjoying the rhymes,
That now, I think I’ll have some time,
To have a go at it myself,
And hopefully give a smile to yourselves.

Poetry isn’t something we’re normally used to in Which? Computing,
But perhaps it’s something we could think about, especially when member’s PC’s are rebooting,
Because it’s not the most exciting topic as some of you might say,
So it’d be great to troubleshoot computer problems in such an easier, friendly way. 🙂


A Joint Effort

Rolling into Tesco’s car park
John and Jean get organised.
How many bags today are needed?
No more trolleys – not surprised.
Take one off a finished shopper,
Steer it crooked through the entrance . . .
Inhale the waft of retail proper
As we start our one-hour sentence.
Knowing what we’ll eat tomorrow
We check our list for weekend victuals –
Pork, or beef, or lamb, or gammon?
[Avoid Campylobacter’s pitfalls]
And load the cart with fruit and veg.
John has seen new season’s Cox’s
Tries a grape and feels a peach.
Jean meanwhile’s admiring boxes :
Today’s temptations on display –
Discounts, price cuts, bogof offers.
Then household stuff goes in the trolley,
Bleach and toilet stain wipe-off’ers.
Moving on through beer and wine
We shortly reach well-earned parole.
We join the queue at Checkout 14
Run by orange-haired Carole.
Bags and Clubcard at the ready
We load our items on the belt
Off we race with one intention –
Get home before the ice-creams melt.


I did like “Bleach and toilet stain wipe-off’ers.”.


A humble contribution:

There once was a push-payment scammer,
A most devious hacker/programmer,
But a supercomplaint,
Means he once was but ain’t,
As he’s serving ten years in the slammer.


Nice! Few seem to be able to get the feet right with Limericks.


If you’ve been called by BT support
I hope you cut them really short
If you’ve been called by Microsoft support
I hope you gave them a rude retort
If you’ve been called by Windows support
Just swear at them as a last resort


The phone rings and to your dismay
A voice says how are you today?
You know what’s going to come next
It’s only what you’ve come to expect
A scam of one type or another
And you can only think oh! bother
Why won’t these people leave you alone
You no longer want to answer the phone

Miller Caldwell says:
6 October 2016

Woke up to my birthday its my 66th
Feelings of ageing are usually mixed
But my day for poetry came as a surprise
Feeling younger already despite my demise.

Too hoots and I’m thinking
Three I’m winking
Four I’m blinking
Five I might be sinking.

Poetry is not my medium
Writing novels a job of tedium
But now two will be films

Playing clarinet, cornet, mouth-organ, guitar, bagpipes,piano or sax
Exclude violin, drums, and all at home, no concerts, thus no musical tax
It helps me to unwind
What’s what I find.

So who’s reading this guttural collection?
A man, woman, child and a parrot’s no exception.
It would be interesting to hear
So the box I’ve ticked to disappear.


Here we go then:

Do you care to share
A thought or prayer?
Today we discuss
How banks test our trust.

But tomorrow we’ll try
To delve and pry,
As we debate and berate
The problems we hate.

Together we all write;
Convo champions the fight.

Lorraine thorpe says:
6 October 2016


I wanted to write a poem
But there was nothing in my head
I just kept trying to think of one
But my brain had just gone dead ,

I just stared at the blank pages
Not knowing where to start
I just needed some insperation
To come from within my heart ,

I needed some new ideas
But where ? I just had to look
My mind had just gone blank
So i was’nt having much luck ,

I just wanted to write a poem
But what could it be about ?
My brain cells had a mental block
So my poem would’nt come out ,

Why does your