The Lobby: Off-topic discussion

Hello and welcome to The Lobby! Your place to discuss subjects that just don’t fit in our other conversations. Make yourself at home!

Do you want to discuss an issue but can’t find the right place to post it? Or maybe you’re looking for somewhere to chat with your community pals? Well, you’ve come to the right place…

As with any community or conversation it can – and does – wander off-topic. This is perfectly natural, but it hasn’t always been possible to do so on some of our posts because of the precisely defined nature of each subject.

So, at the behest of some of our community members, we created this off-topic discussion area – The Lobby.

Any ideas spawned here in The Lobby could generate new posts for debate and discussion on Which? Conversation, so you – our community members – are able to help shape the direction of our community.

What happened to the original Lobby?

Why do we have two Lobbies? Well, like all good franchises, we wanted to experiment with a sequel. But seriously, the original Lobby was so popular (with almost 13,000 comments), it was becoming hard to load the page.

So we’re starting fresh with what we’re affectionately calling “The Lobby 2”.

No comments from first Lobby have been deleted, and you can still link to comments, but you won’t be able to add new comments.


To ensure The Lobby remains a healthy and friendly place for you all to share your thoughts, musings all of our Community Guidelines apply, with the exception of one:

You may go off-topic… that is the purpose of The Lobby.  🙂

Looking for other areas to talk?

• Website feedback: Let us know about any technical issues, and share your ideas on the future of Which? Conversation closure: A discussion about the closure of

Which? Members: Discuss issues related to our organisation, including governance

Welcome to the Lobby!

So without further ado… welcome! What are you waiting for!?


Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave scones in the oven while I nap.

Apparently, I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.

Does anyone know how to turn off Windows 10 updates forever?

I got a pop up message today when I started my computer

Your device will restart to update outside of active hours

Leave it on and plugged in. Open Settings to adjust your active hours and whether you want reminders

I DON’T want any updates for my computer and I DON’T want my computer to restart

How do I stop this update restart forever? I’ve already turned off all update options I can see in Settings, and it still showed this message today

Not allowing a computer to install updates will increase the risk of it being affected by malware.

Hi a,

Turning off updates is not something I would advise for a PC used on the Internet.

However, if you are content to proceed at your own risk you may find the following suggestions useful, see:-

Also, if you aren’t tied to Windows 10 for particular applications, you might also consider moving to a different OS. For example, most versions of Linux give users complete control over updates.

I followed the instructions and still got a pop up message today, saying

Your device will restart to update outside of active hours

Leave it on and plugged in. Open Settings to adjust your active hours and whether you want reminders

Does anyone have any other suggestions on how to turn off Windows Update forever?

Hi a,

Sorry to hear those suggestions did not work for you.

I tried the registry tweak on a W10 Home pc and it does not work as described.

I’m now trying the metered connection trick.

wavechange, when my computer last updated itself without asking, it broke my soundcard software

I can’t change how music and sound effects sound now when played on my computer. I can’t EQ or do anything else with sound. It’s completely broken

Derek, the metered connection doesn’t work

Do you have any other suggestions?

Hi a, interesting to hear that isn’t working for you.

On my W10 Home machine that I’m trying these tweaks on, Windows Update is reporting that updates are available but won’t be downloaded until a non metered connection is available or unless I override the prohibition.

So far, I have not come across any other published tweaks for W10 Home. I did find confirmation that the registry tweak only works with Pro and enterprise versions.

Hi a

I understand your problem and use old computers with obsolete operating systems so that I can continue to use software that would not work on a modern machine. These computers are used offline for security reasons. I don’t use Windows so I cannot help you.

Hi Derek, are you still here?

Every day I disable Windows Update service and Background Intelligent Transfer Service

When I start the computer the next day, they have been turned back on and I have to disable them again

Do you know how to disable them forever?

Hi a,
Do you have an app installed called Groove Music that might be standard on Win10?

It does have an equalizer under Playback, is that any good?

Maybe we can help you with your sound card software as fixing that might be preferable to disabling Win10 updates.

If you type system in the search field then select System Information, sound devices are listed under Components.
On the right hand side it tells you the name and status of each device.

You can also type device manager in the search field, then look at Sound, video and game controllers.

You can then right-click each one to look at the properties and see if anything doesn’t appear to work correctly.

DerekP says:
10 August 2020

Hi a,

It seems that W10 Home is put together so as to prevent users from easily disabling or controlloing those update services. In contrast, I think Professional and Enterprise versions allow local control, e.g. via Group Policy seetings.

So one potential solution might be for you to upgrade to Windows 10 Professional.

Looking at the two W10 Home PC’s I regularly use here, the one I prohibited from “upgrading over metered connections” has not installed any updates since 17-07-2020 while the other one has. So that option might be the easiest way preveting updates on W10 Home machines.

Hi alfa

I’ve had a look at Groove, can’t find anything called Playback

Where do I find it?

I’ve looked at System Information and Device Manager. Both say everything is working

Hi a,
I am looking at W10 Pro, so not sure how it differs from W10 Home but if I click the cog wheel for settings, Playback is in there.

Was it by any chance Sonic Studio Virtual Mixer that stopped working?

Welcome to World Snake Day, the day in 1970 when the ninth British Commonwealth Games opened in Edinburgh and the day in 1987 when the UK performed a nuclear Test at Nevada Test Site

What I want to know is whether snake oil really exists or if it is fake.

Cheaper than tattoos if you want the reticulated effect and presumably not permanent disfiguration.

I hope there are no false claims or fakery in the marketing of snake oil otherwise it will give the trade a bad name and undermine the reputation of its sales executives.

You would need to fry the snake to find out.
Buzzard in back garden, RIP pigeon. Quite a sight and feathers everywhere. It saw me and took off with the carcass, so that’s one less thing to clear up.

Snake oil must be fake because snakes need no additional lubrication.

Please can I borrow the buzzard, Vynor. I have a surfeit of wood pigeons.

At a previous property I used a decoy Falcon to deter the urban pigeons from perching on the gutters, TV aerial and chimney stacks. It was partly successful but it wouldn’t fly for me.

I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

I’m sure that this or a similar joke has appeared before, but I did not get round to commenting on it.

R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist.

I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it’s been doing is gathering dust.

Can I borrow it?

We have been doodling along with what passes for broadband in the sticks for several years. .On a good day, when the sun’s in the right position and the wind blows from the West we can get up to 7.9Mb unless it rains. However, Openreach have been sending us emails inviting us to apply for FTTP.

So two weeks ago I took the plunge and applied. Despite dire warnings of how long it would be before the request was dealt with, they ‘phoned back the same day as I sent the application.

Predictably I was told I’d have to ‘make a contribution’ towards any fibre installation and an email arrived the next day saying they’d examined the location, etc. etc. and they could provide FTTP for between £35,000 and £40,000. Needless to say, I didn’t bother responding.

Today, at 1420, I had another call from them. They’d changed the way we look at rural locations’ and the cost to me would be nothing. For FTTP.

Interesting world in which we live.

Well done Ian. That’s a worthwhile price reduction.

Must admit, my first reaction was that I assumed it was some sort of scam. Time will tell, I suppose.

Some rural communities have benefited from FTTP in the past, for example:

When I moved home in 2016 I was aware that there were plans to deal with the very slow broadband problem, but thought it might take some time. I live a mile from the nearest village yet we were fortunate to have FTTP installed at least two years before the village. That might have been because it is a recent development with ducts, making it an easy job to install the fibres, whereas the village is older and has telephone poles.

The internet is valuable to the local farms, so possibly that might be a factor.

A friend has a 600 acre farm and is heavily involved in various committees, one of which I was on. He used to plead with us not to send emails with large attachments because his internet service was like ‘fast dialup’ and he struggled to do his farm and committee work. After years of this he now has a decent broadband service.

I’m disappointed that money is still being wasted on improving FTTC services, which might not be used for long before they are replaced.

Is it a waste of money to upgrade FTTC [Fibre to the Cabinet]? As and when FTTP [Fibre to the Premises] comes along the starting point can be the nearest cabinet which has already had the fibre cable installed.

Uptake of FTTP will depend on customer demand so it will probably not be connected to all the properties served by the cabinet in one operation but one at a time. As a further step, individual connexion boxes might be set into the footway for onward connexion to properties in due course.

As with other utility services, on new developments the builders arrange and pay for FTTP to be installed to all the new properties and the cost is recovered through the selling price.

For those in regions served only by plain copper broadband (as Ian may be from the speed he has quoted) there are no FTTC cabinets. Where I live we went straight from copper to FTTP. Eventually there will be no copper wires for landline phones because home users can be switched to VOIP (as currently used by businesses etc.) so that calls go via fibre rather than wires. The router replaces the master socket for connection of phone extensions in the home.

Interesting. I thought we were on FTTC with the last section remaining unchanged in copper going underground then up onto a pole and from there to a corner of the roof and then down to the master socket. BT supplied a new router and installed a new master socket when we recently upgraded to the Halo1 service and tariff. Perhaps I have misunderstood.

There are different ways of providing a broadband and phone services to homes. In my view it will be cheaper to go straight from basic copper broadband to FTTP rather than providing FTTC and moving to FTTP at a later date. If Duncan Lucas was still here he could have explained the options that are in use.

I believe that customers with modest requirements should be charged far less than those who make heavy use of their broadband service.

Indeed; they’ve confirmed that they’ll have to build a new network just for me, apparently, almost certainly the reason the initial cost was quoted as between £35k and £40k.

The USO, however, might force them to do that, as they can’t get anything faster until fibre’s in place.

As I have mentioned before, we are well behind many countries in the roll-out of proper fibre broadband:

. As this article says, we are no longer at the bottom of the pile within Europe.

I would like to see a pricing structure that charges customers according to use of high speed services to fund future expansion. If more people are going to be able to work at home then there will be more need for broadband services.

I get by very well ln my FTTC. I don’t feel the need to play games online, stream films, music or other entertainment. Where this clogs up the existing structure and new infrastructure is required the cost will indirectly come from the consumer. I’d like to see those who place greater demands pay accordingly.

That’s what I have suggested – repeatedly. Those who are happy with lower speeds should not be subsidising those who want or need higher speeds.

It’s wrong to assume that fast speeds are only used for entertainment purposes.

I was not suggesting faster speeds are only for entertainment. However, I think those who want faster speeds should contribute accordingly. We often see the case being made for faster broadband for consumers by showing the time it takes to download a film. Nice to have but I do not see this as the reason we should spend taxpayers’ money.

Some of us have suggested that the entertainment companies should be contributing to the cost of the roll-out of proper fibre broadband. It’s wrong that they should just be profiting from a service payed for by the taxpayer. Perhaps the current financial problems could force the government to take action to make this happen.

I have also suggested that by, maybe, taxing subscriptions above the norm.

The entertainment companies should definitely be contributing to upgrading our broadband.

They currently pay no transport costs while the customer pays twice – firstly to their internet provider and secondly to the entertainment provider.

At the start of lockdown, Netflix stopped the streaming of 4K content to reduce the strain, maybe an admittance of their excess exploitation? I read recently they had acquired millions of new customers in the last few months.

Time to start paying.

At present broadband subscriptions often cover unlimited use. I suggest that it would be fairer to pay for what you use.

Welcome to World Emoji Day, the day in 1717 of Handel’s Water Music first performance on the Thames and the day in 2014 when Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 was shot down over Eastern Ukraine by a Buk surface-to-air missile launched from pro-Russian separatist-controlled territory, killing all 283 passengers and 15 crew on board

They’re an absolute shower.

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house

Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, “Damn, I forgot to feed the dog.”

Intelligent dog. Good job it remembered its master’s number.

If it had been an elephant, it could have made a trunk call…

Most people are shocked when they find out how incompetent I am as an electrician.

It’s worrying that professional electricians are commonly known as ‘sparks’.

Welcome to Moth Week, the day in 2012 when Kim Jong-un was appointed Supreme Leader of North Korea and given the rank of Marshal in the Korean People’s Army and the day in 2015 when the Sun tabloid published a picture and video of Queen Elizabeth giving the N*a*z*i salute in 1933

The problem with trouble shooting is that trouble can shoot back

And if it is the boss that is the problem the troubleshooter might be fired.

Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.

A strange expression. One source says it originated at the NCR (National Cash Register Co) when the boss objected to the senior sales executive suggesting mechanical registers were dying and electrical machines were the future. Supposedly his desk was thrown onto the front lawn and set on fire. Hence…… That somehow doesn’t ring true, but you never can tell with the Americans. Apparently Donald T tried to register the phrase “you’re fired” in his name as a result of his rise to fame (sic) in The Apprentice USA. Had he achieved it the jobless in the US might have been much reduced.

Team work is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else

Only dead fish go with the flow.

I’m not saying your perfume is too strong. I’m just saying the canary was alive before you got here.

Dad: There are no canaries on the Canary Islands

Son: Same with the Virgin Islands, there are no canaries there either.


I hesitate to enquire what are to be found on the Isle of Dogs.

Or the Scillies 🙂

Segregation seems rife on the Isle of Wight.

Perhaps the unfortunate birds flew over Middelfart. 🍑💨💨💨

Welcome to Ice Cream Day, the day in 1595 when Kepler developed his theory of the geometrical basis of the universe while teaching in Graz and the day in 1843 when SS Great Britain, designed by Isambard Kingdom Brunel, was launched, the first ocean-going craft with an iron hull or screw propeller and the largest vessel afloat in the world.

Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot.

You can sometimes have too many in which case you may need a swat.

I just saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought that sounded like a fair trade.


A short response but I do see the point.

The reason that’s there is because on a couple of days, recently, the system has refused to accept more than two jokes. The only way to circumvent this odd behaviour is to do a sub-thread post, then the main thread will accept another joke.

Maybe this is a new feature to discourage those who post several times in the same Convo in quick succession, often pasting identical text. That would not explain the inconsistency.

I would not want to see us deprived of our morning humour. That would be no joke.

A dad is washing the car with his son. After a moment, the son asks his father, “Do you think we could use a sponge instead?”

I do appreciate clean jokes.