Want a ‘sat nav’ app to get round Tesco? Um, no thanks

…well, let’s explain how the thing works first. Once you’ve downloaded Tesco’s app to your Android smartphone, you’ll be able to enter your shopping list which the app will use to create a map of where the products are in the store. Then, it will work out the shortest possible route between you and those products.

Tesco said in its blog post that it won’t roll this out to stores up and down the country until it has had a clear indication that it’s something customers want. Well, take it from me, men will love it.

Blokes and supermarkets

Now, I know this might be a massive generalisation and maybe I need to get out more, but I’ve yet to meet a man who doesn’t think grocery shopping is a torture that has to be endured. For them, successful shopping means getting in and out as quickly as possible.

Never mind that they’ve forgotten half the items on the list – the fact that they step inside a supermarket and came back with something at all is testament their hunter gatherer traits.

Whether Tesco knows it or not – and I suspect they do – this sat nav gizmo will be manna from heaven for most men.

Supermarket shopping nightmare

If this sat nav app does eventually get rolled out to Tesco’s up and down the country, expect two things. Firstly, other supermarkets will soon follow. And secondly, supermarkets will no longer be a safe place to shop.

Just imagine the scenario a year down the line – all the men you know sneakily meeting up with their mates and seeing who can get their weekly shop done in the fastest possible time using this new toy. It’s going to be an absolute nightmare.

Once this thing takes off, I’m going to do all my shopping online. That way, at least I’ll be safe from speeding shopping trolleys, steered by men (and children) who’ve forgotten they’re in a supermarket, not a racetrack.