Would you be peeved if you paid more because of your gender?

Thankfully, Beryl, it’s only the totally unreconstructed males who adhere to traditional attitudes to masculinity and deny their feminine sides who might face total extinction – not the entire male population. That does at least allow for the continued production and evolution of both sexes into the future. Of course, one would hope that the female influence on male development would become more sophisticated eventually but it does have a struggle on its hands at the moment so patience is required.

Females have great influence – look at the number of world leaders including UK , Scotland!, Germany, USA potentially, – but their authority is often dispensed in more subtle ways than men seem capable of. In how many marriages (real ones – a man and a woman) does the man do what the “weaker” sex decides? Most spend time bringing home the bacon while their joint life is organised by – ?

And they live longer. And they have there own programme on Radio 4 (Woman’s hour). Is there a “Man’s Hour”?

As for female vs. male products – buy the cheaper razors, (why do they have to have pink?), shaving cream, anti-perspirant. “I don’t want to pay for stereotyping.” – then why allow yourself to submit to stereotyping. Women have more logical brains than men – they should be able to deal with this without legislation.

I thought it was fatness and obesity that was rapidly increasing? Is food abuse (excessive or inadequate) a symptom of our response to irresponsible advertising? Perhaps we should have an anti-ad agency, like the old brief Public Information films, that helps educate us in the ways of the world that we should really heed.

I have never hit my wife, nor her me, so I don’t recognise your generalisation (or is it a genderelisation). I will agree about haircuts though – mine costs £9 and takes 10 – 15 minutes. mrs r had hers done today; cost £70 and took 90 minutes. If we both went to my barbers (operated, incidentally, by young ladies) and had the same quick trim without lotions, dyes, drying, and all the other stuff I’d expect her to pay the same. But I’m not sure either of us would like the result.

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Mrs W spends all afternoon at the hairdressers, has the full works, and comes back looking fabulous, hair glowing, beautifully styled, and smelling gorgeous. The next day she washes it all out, does it herself, and looks even lovelier. For her £75 she has been pampered and calmed in a relaxing environment soothed by gentle music and a continuous supply of coffee.

I go to an elderly Italian barber who I have been using for years and he takes about twenty minutes to cut off the thatch and rearrange the ageing fibres. He does the little trimmings that Duncan mentions and entertains me with his wit and wisdom. His parlour is not so posh, the TV in the corner seems to only have Homes under the Hammer or Channel 4 Racing depending on the time of day, and downstairs there is a body art saloon from which various curious specimens of human pulchritude emerge as from a gothic vault while I await my turn. He no longer enquires about “something for the weekend” since those are now available in any Tesco’s or pub toilet. All that for just £11 plus tip including a free read of a red-top tabloid if I need to catch up with what has been happening in the jungle or the big brother house. And it’s all a lot better since smoking was banned. What more could I ask for?

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Gender violence: terrible thing. Being kicked, head-butted, Karate-chopped, stabbed, shot and tortured convinced me never to play another game of chess with Emily Knutbuster. Most dangerous seven year old I’ve ever known.

She sounds even worse than Just William’s nemesis, the legendary Violet Elizabeth Bott.

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There’s a fine line between helping someone and encouraging them to emotionally depend upon you Duncan, which is always counter-productive for everyone involved. It’s sometimes best left to the professionals where mental health issues are concerned who are able to apply the appropriate treatment without the emotional involvement.

It’s a bit unrealistic to think you can help the world single handedly. There are many altruistic and specialist organisations who dedicate their lives helping to overcome society’s problems which you can join. Which? for example can go some way to alleviate some of the everyday consumer issues that arise, but at the same time they do emphasise the importance of consumer input to assist them in their efforts,,which highlights the significance of all of the other contributions made by people who, like yourself, want to “help the world”.

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If only finding appropriate and effective mental health help were so straightforward, Beryl. And you need the person you regard as needing help to cooperate – unless you have them sectioned (as far as I know) you cannot impose mantal health treatment upon them.

Perhaps Which? could investigate the sources of different types of mental health professionals, support, look at how to find those who are properly trained, qualified and accredited and see what the NHS can provide (and when – probably too late) and what you have to fund privately.

It seems that, according to PEYE, providing “psychologists” don’t use one of nine “protected titles” (such as educational, forensic, clinical) anyone can offer their services without being registered or regulated.

You do have some very odd beliefs, Duncan. I don’t know of a single person who “emulates-looks up to -worships and tries to copy” the US. Much the reverse, in fact. And as the father of a Psychologist I would suggest that “ (your) female (who) got “professional help ” —- and then committed suicide — with the help of the very strong drugs she was on, and alcohol” was hardly the responsibility of the professional treating her, if indeed one was, since taking alcohol is not generally a recommended course of treatment in the NHS.

But all that digression apart, the medical fraternity is fairly evenly split on the question of whether mental illnesses are actually on the rise or merely being diagnosed more accurately or frequently. The Psychiatric profession has long enjoyed a tendency to define into existence a condition through the categorisation of symptoms. But there’s little doubt that the West generally is moving towards a matriarchal society. It’s been happening for a long time and it’s of particular concern to Educationalists.

Gender stereotyping is an interesting concept. It still happens a little too much for my liking, in the media, anyway, but I’m unsure if there’s a proven connection between that and costs, as suggested by Erin. On the clothes front it’s fairly clear that women select their clothes on the basis of what will appeal to others, and not because they, themselves inherently like an item. I would suspect that’s because women are more mutually supportive than men but are also in need of external validation somewhat more often. Many women do have an external locus of identity which is more pronounced than the man’s. It seems to be that characteristic upon which supermarket marketing gurus seize and seek to exploit which they do by producing a far wider range of female clothing.

“thats right the USA third , the same country the whole of the West emulates-looks up to -worships and tries to copy”. Really – I doubt that very much.

“Stand on your own feet” is not helped when there are easy taxpayer-funded alternatives for the lazy. I’d argue that most of us get through life by our own determination to knuckle down to learn at school, college, do a job properly (whether employed or self employed). Yest, there will be people who genuinely cannot cope, and we should help them. The danger is if help goes to people who are not so deserving the whole system becomes top-heavy, swamped, underfunded and the real vulnerable people suffer. No one owes us a living. We owe the vulnerable care and assistance. Sorting out the genuine recipients is the problem we face.

Malcolm physical violence, the kind reported by Duncan is grounds for sectioning under the 1983 Mental Health Act irrespective of gender.

Duncan, every case is individual and different and open to questioning, which means blaming another country or their methodology is not recommended when treating mental illness. Moreover, it is pretty common knowledge the dangers of mixing alcohol with drugs. Many alcoholics suffer from an underlying mental illness and resort to alcohol as a means of medicating themselves but sadly end up with addiction as well as mental illness. Also to take drugs with alcohol is a recipe for disaster.

It has been the subject of recent debate that continuous and prolonged psychological abuse can be even worse than physical abuse, the effects of which, not being immediately obvious or visible are harder to detect and therefore treat.

We have veered off topic once again so will leave it there, except to say it is possible to prevent someone’s else’s recovery by accepting abuse from them, in which case anyone who believes they should put up with this type of maltreatment ought to be questioning the reason why they do.

Beryl, I am intrigued about how you manage to cut and style your hair at the back. Do you use a selfie-stick and take pictures as you go so you can see how it’s going?

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Just for the record, suicide rates are not concealed; there are various sources, including the Samaritans. As it happens, male suicide rates decreased in the UK by 5.6% between 2013 and 2014 while female rates increased by 8.3% over the same period. It is impossible to say whether this is a long-term trend although the overall rates of suicide have been falling over time for both sexes. The suicide rates per sex for people aged 3-29 are proportionate to the rates for other age groups with roughly three times more male than female suicides.

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While it’s true student suicides have increased, overall suicides have decreased. In particular Atkins group universities are seeing more self-harm among students whose academic issues might be causing them concern. It’s a very tricky field to fathom, simply because different places use different techniques and recording methods but the overall consensus seems to be that overall suicide rates are falling, although female postgrads appear to be overrepresented and present a significant statistical anomaly. However, and purely from my own thoughts, I wonder if the recent small increase might be allied to the increase in student tuition fees and the concurrent course difficulties. Combined, these might seem overwhelming to a young person.

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Well I did rather hope I wouldn’t be asked that question John as it’s complicated, but here goes……….

I have a dressing table with 3 mirrors (one central and 2 side ones) which allow me to view the left and right sections at the back. I first divide all my hair into sections and secure each section with either clips or hair bands.
I use a portable dressing table hand mirror to view the centre back which I cut blind to match the already cut sides at the back using small sections of hair held between the first and second fingers, (as you have probably witnessed your barber doing). I then cut the side sections near the ears making sure each side matches up, and lastly the fringe. I then move to a larger mirror in the bathroom situated directly under a downlighter and check for any bits that need levelling using the portable hand mirror in one hand and scissors in the other. It sounds complicated but as with all new ventures, practice makes perfect. It’s very important to use hairdressers scissors and not the ones from the cutlery draw in the kitchen!

I must add that it is not too easy to wear shoulder protection whilst carrying out all the necessary manoeuvres so I usually end up removing all clothing during the cutting stages and then straight into a nice hot shower to wash away any remains of hair left on my skin and hey presto! job done 🙂

PS. I did warn you the description would be much more complicated than the action!

Thank you, Beryl. I was going to ask whether you were lucky enough to have one of those three-section mirrors that are rarely seen these days. My late M-i-L had one on a beautiful curvaceous and Walnut-veneered dressing-table. By angling the wing mirrors one could almost see all round. By using cross-reflection and turning the head, as an owl does, a virtual circumnavigation of the dome was possible; just the nape escaped.

Duncan – I am not disputing the rise in student suicides but they are a segment within a category where the overall trend is downwards. The interpretation of statistics and causes is problematic, as Ian has said, but we need to bear in mind that the number of students has increased markedly over the last decade and I would hazard that there are people within the student population who are not suited to the pressures [or the liberties] of further and higher education.

Yes John, I can recall as a child peering into the wing mirrors of my mothers dressing table and the fascination of watching myself in multiplicity becoming increasingly smaller and further and further away finally disappearing into infinity………….

Sorry, Duncan: yes, I did, and the problem presented is that the ONS groups suicides according to several criteria which make definitive statements about rates difficult without hedging what you’re saying with numerous conditions. There has been a rise – interestingly – in older male suicides but without knowing the criteria used to define a suicide (they do change) what I said, gleaned from several different sources seems to be correct.

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I think we all have the same amount of choice with our grooming products whoever or whatever we are, Duncan.

It’s about time there was a bit more cross-representation of alternative styles and characters in the modern media without mockery, especially on TV. Shakespeare’s Viola from Twelfth Night [or What You Will] , and lots of other roles from classical drama and pantomime, paved the way, largely through the comic arts, for exploring the excitement of travesty. Now, as society becomes culturally more mature, transgender issues can be treated seriously and enter the mainstream. I welcome the acceptance of difference and inclusion as it might relieve many people of mental torment, anxiety and subordination. If – through the latest clinical procedures – it leads to the success of gender reassignment so much the better. I appreciate this might not be everyone’s cup of tea but it will not do you any harm.

What I don’t get is your last sentence: who are being made “worse”, and in what way?

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Now we really are off topic and in an area I personally feel is unsuited to a Which? Convo. I raised the question of why only male/female in a genuine way. I’m sorry that it deflected the Convo in this way. 🙁

As Michael Winner might have said about an insurance advert: “Calm down, Duncan – it’s just a commercial”. It’s just a bit of [badly made] fun. No actor was forced against their will to wear high heels and posture provocatively. Does it send up men? Or women? Does it matter? Not a lot.

There’s a lot you need to know about enforced female sexual exploitation before you generalise about prostitution and pornography but this is not the place to go into that.

With specific reference to the MoneySuperMarket commercials, personally I think you have misread the messages that are coming from the adverts you dislike and are attributing more to them than they can possibly sustain. By all accounts, despite some complaints, the latest ‘dance-off’ advert is a very big hit with the viewers. If there was any risk to young children from possibly seeing those adverts [which are not shown on daytime TV] they would not have been passed for broadcasting.

I caught the tail-end [literally] of Mrs Brown’s Boys before watching the News this evening. I suppose that’s off your watch list as well. Judging by the roars of applause it must have been awful.

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When will we ever shed the use of marketing techniques to exploit the suggestibility of key market segments that have been conditioned, through stereotyping, over many years to desire toiletry products and appliances that will enable them to first conform to the prevailing type and then to follow it religiously wherever, and however unsuitably, it leads? All branches of the media, advertising, product design, merchandising, and pricing conspire to bring this about – almost as though there were some over-arching force at work. I suppose there is – it’s applied psychology.

Thanks John, that change has been made.