How do you manage money with your partner?

My wife and I (aged 73 and 75) have been married for 43 years. We have a joint account for shared household expenses; aside from that we have separate and private accounts, no questions asked. Works well.

My wife and I have a joint bank account. She gets all she wants and I pay the bills. Has worked well for nearly 30 years.

It’s not easy. My wife is very sensitive about retaining her financial independence and whilst she contributes 50/50 on utilities and council tax that is as far as it goes. I pay for the food and for all incidental expenses from going out to buying for the garden etc. I have tried to discuss it but she rears up immediately, as I said, it’s not easy.

We simply figure out the running costs for our home and contribute an agreed amount to a joint account every month, it has not always been an equal amount but it is now. Then we have one dedicated credit card account with two cards which we split equally in an agreed ratio when the bill arrives, paying in full each month. Everything else is discretionary from our separate accounts and it’s worked like a dream for over 25 years. Also means we know what our running costs are. We like to keep a bit extra in our joint account for unexpected costs.

My fiancée and I don’t have a joint account. We split our mortgage and all our utilities 50/50, and we tend to each have a couple of bills in our name. We log any other shared costs like food shopping, meals out, buying things for the house in a money tracking app so we can keep an eye spending and keep things fairly even.

Having read some of the comments here it strikes me that where both partners are prepared to be reasonable and respectful of each other, whatever method is used it tends to work. Problems really arise where a bullying, selfish chauvinist or feminist is involved.