Dementia: are carers getting the support they need?

It’s significant that no one wants to talk about this and yet there are many families distressed by dementia. This has been the case when ever you have raised this subject. Perhaps there is research to be done about our reluctance to share our views.
Previously, I have summarised my particular situation and so will not re-hash my comments. Suffice it to say that the world surrounding dementia is confusing, and not just for the sufferer. There is a great deal of work to be done to make the support system more user friendly and proactive rather than reactive. It is also a fact that money is useful in gaining quality services. That isn’t the whole story. Even the private sector is stretched. The employees are under paid and expected to do too much. This results in missed appointments and hurried appointments. Anyone caring for a person with dementia knows, only too well, that time is one of the most important elements of that care. Rush and hurry causes untold misery and compounds the confusion. If it takes a quarter of an hour to make a toilet visit so be it.
Perhaps we are so focussed on the day to day minutia that it becomes difficult to do the research to find out where the help can come from and especially help that is trustworthy and reliable. It is there, but it’s something of a lottery to find it and often not easy to access exactly what one wants. This is not an exact science and anticipating the next need isn’t easy as the dementia increases in all sorts of unexpected ways.
So, coping strategies. Sharing the load with others to provide down time -me time-, time to step back and review. This should be regular and planned. For some this is easier said than done. My sister and I both have our own homes. That’s a luxury and we are lucky to have this escape. It’s also a worry being there and maintaining them!
Which say that they identify services that are available and produce a web site of useful addresses. They might also star rate the services for reliability, helpfulness and cost for the user. Something in print would be valuable too.
Carers should have a life outside the home. Your example of the elderly, careworn wife is an example of the failure of outside agencies to give her the release she needs and, possibly the counselling to take that release in the first place.
Someone to talk to who can mentor the family and facilitate access to other agencies. Who has the time to do this I wonder?
Equipment to make life easier for cared and carer. Routine should be just that and not a hassle every time.

What bothers me as Mother was in one for approx 10 years that unless diagnosed cannot get support funding so other conditions get neglected as there is one GP for whole home.Suspect my Mother who couldn’t speak ,swallow & see properly had complications of polymyalgia rheumatica.
That LA where the home was is responsible for funding that if you live on a boundary the buck gets passed.She had come from another home when needed hoisting & nursing.We had asked for her to be in intermediate section although worse.This had probably hastened Father’s demise as full time carer .He had Cancer & heart problems.
I had an Independent reviews ,where lawyers in another legal call centre couldn’t support over a Nurse on a remit not recording correctly & Review not allowing me to speak telling lies the Chairman [ woman] saying would allow later when interupted.They did not do when respected what said consequently other legal call centres not handling case fairly & she has since died
.I feel problem could be genetic & the powers that be trying to make a mental issue when not getting essential monitoring for other related conditions.This could result in my demise 10 years too soon.