Ketchup vs mayo – what’s your favourite condiment?

Mayonnaise. Surprised? I am. In a recent poll by discount site NetVoucherCodes, Hellman’s mayonnaise squeezed out Heinz tomato ketchup to become the nation’s favourite condiment.

It was a close one, with mayo getting 23% of the vote to ketchup’s 22%, but I’m still shocked. Mayonnaise? Really? One of the voters explained:

‘Mayo is so versatile. You couldn’t put ketchup on both your chips and your salad could you?’

My answer to that is… why are you putting mayo on your chips!? Or your salad, for that matter? Look, I respect that the traditional ingredients for mayo don’t go much beyond oil and egg, but that’s not going to make me enjoy the white gloop you spoon out of a jar.

I’d be happier to dip my chips in Marmite to be honest. In fact, a few of the voters chose Marmite as their favourite condiment, but the meanies at NetVouchersCode disqualified the black gold, as ‘Marmite is a spread’.

Mad about mayo?

As you might have noticed, I can’t help but ooze hate for mayo, and I’ve had a good old rant about it before now. ‘What has mayo ever done to you?’, Mr Mayo might ask. ‘Nothing, it just happens to be in every shop-bought sandwich,’ I’d reply. ‘Well, you couldn’t put ketchup in a shop-bought sandwich, could you?’ Mr Mayo would retort. ‘No, and nor would I want to, but stop forcing yourself on me!’ I’d snap.

And although I wouldn’t want tomato sauce in a sandwich (unless it was in a bacon butty), for me it’s the answer to all ailments. In the past I was even known to splodge it on my Sunday roast, eliciting a raised eyebrow from my next of kin. I’ve grown out of that now, but it’s still my sauce of choice, and I’m surprised the rest of Britain isn’t with me. Are you with me?

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